The Bio Brainer

Last night, I had a bad night of sleep and while in bed, I realized that I hadn’t blogged about the sleepless nights that many people with eczema have to suffer with. So, here I am, sitting in bed blogging at 3 AM because I just can’t fall asleep. 

With eczema, many will experience different symptoms, but one thing most of us can agree on is the uncomfortability of laying in bed, trying to relax and having the urge to just scratch away. When awake, I often don’t think twice about scratching, but when I’m in bed, I have all the time in the world to think about the million reasons why I shouldn’t scratch and the one reason I should : to relieve myself from the prickliness my entire body feels if I don’t. 

Before I know it, two to three hours can pass by each night as I lay in bed, scratching away, knowing the consequences of doing so will be there to face me in the morning. But without hesitation, I will itch until I feel blood oozing because I just can’t help it. Over the years, I’ve realized that if I want proper sleep, I need to moisturize my body from morning to night, take a melatonin (only if really necessary), have a humidifier in my room, wear really comfortable pajamas for that night, and keep my room at a cool temperature. Seems like a lot right? But for me and many others, that’s the lengths that we would go in order to get better sleep. 

Although it may seem like I solved my problem with my check list of things to do before bed, it’s actually quite the opposite. Even if I was lucky to get a better night’s sleep than most times, I’d be lying if I said I never itched, even if I really didn’t mean to. 

This is because….

I itch in my sleep. Without even knowing it, I will itch and itch and itch. It was so bad as a child, that I used to have socks on my hands to prevent me from scarring my body.

It’s not something I’m very proud of because each morning without question, I can hop off my bed and look at my sheets and see the sheer amount of skin flakes and blood that cover the bedding. It’s disgusting – I know. But overtime, it gets easier. It becomes a reality. It becomes the consequence I have to face knowing that I itched, didn’t moisturize as much as I should’ve, or ate a piece of trigger food I probably shouldn’t have. 

Not only can sleep be difficult, but waking up can too. Because of the lack of sleep I get at night, waking up in the morning can be the hardest thing to do. I wish I could say that I was one of those girls that you see on Instagram that has the perfect morning routine, but that’s not the story of my life. The story of my life is waking up to blood crusted under my fingernails. The story of my life is having to set an extra thirty minutes to an hour everyday just to hydrate my body to avoid my body from peeling. There will be an occasional chapter where I will feel good, but, in the end, the itching never stops.